You ever been in a place where you feel like everyone and everything is continuing to move forward..yet your stuck in cement unable to catch up. Everything around you is changing it seems, yet you feel you are doing the same thing every day. Get up..go to work…go to gym…go to church…go home..go to bed. Weekend comes…you see and do the same thing…with the same people…same places..food music…..same Ole routine. Whew…I’m exhausted looking at that Neverending to do list. To be very honest…I’m tired. I can’t put a finger on it..but I’m getting antsy wondering what’s next. Wondering when something new is coming….it’s like I can’t sit still…yesterday…was probably one of the longest days I’ve had….the rain drained me…and I was really ready to just throw in the towel. Yes…Krystal actually wanted to give up..go home…and crawl in bed. I realized I have more on my mind then normal. I am still mourning my grandmother…still healing from past hurts…it’s like this week I took off my band aid to see the wounds were still there….this week last year I dealt with alot…however…I have to fight against falling backwards. It’s so easy to bask in your past pains…it’s so easy to feel all of it again. But…through encouraging words from some friends yesterday …I was reminded of how much I’ve grown…how much the past pain prepared me for what’s to come. Yes I could curl up in a ball..and just cry myself to sleep…but what good is it? How will that help me grow into the woman I am becoming. Sure…I’d love to just tell you I’m completely happy about life…and where I am…but even the “Happy ” girl can experience a moment where hope seems lost. I admit it..yesterday was not the best…but doesn’t mean life is over? No…..It’s times like these where being your own cheerleader might get tiring….but you must press on even if your cheering all by yourself. You must count on Faith to carry you through..dust yourself off and try again. Even if it feels as if nothing is changing…even if it feels as if everyone else around you is moving forward. It’s times like these where you have to believe God has the plan no matter where you stand in life. Keep pressing forward…and over time you will see…keeping your focus and not allowing your self to slip backwards into the past… will help you recognize how much your past has prepared you to believe you can make it. You can overcome hurt…your wounds will heal. So you ask what do I do to snap out of my little rut? I shut down…turn on some music and write…I encourage myself…and I give Thanks for another day of breath in my lungs…I remind myself how blessed I am to still be able to fulfill God’s purpose…and lastly I’ve learned to let it out and not mask my true feelings. So In the lyrics of my theme song by Journey that always lifts me up…”Don’t stop Believing…” Don’t allow your hope to become hopeless. Keep faith in yourself and know…you can survive this thing called life.
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