Why I refuse to Give up…


“Dear God…..
I’m tired…I’m upset… lonely…I’m really over everything. I want to understand why I’m in this situation…why can’t I just have something go right. If it rains it pours…I don’t think I can go on like this…I give up”
Have you ever said a prayer like that? If you look again in that prayer…how many times do you see thankfulness? 9 times I spoke on me myself and I throughout that prayer.  You see…when I was younger…I used to only pray when things went wrong. Failing Theatre history class…my car broke down….things like that. I laugh now because both things ended up teaching me lessons. I wouldn’t have failed my theatre class had I put in the effort to study. My car wouldn’t have broke down…had I just taken it for its oil change. So many things I have learned in my life has gotten me to this place I am in right now.  I have had so many ups and downs in my life where I have at times wondered how could I make it. I’ve been so low…to the point where I even considered ending my life all together. Yes..I’ve been depressed before…yes I dealt and still deal with anxiety at times…but I have not and will not give up.  As I watch people in my life..mainly family members experience new transitions in their life…I am realizing that even grown ups handle the lows of life differently.  The funny thing is…you never think about people giving up when all you were taught was to keep pushing.  You know…I love my family very much…and at this time last year we lost quite an incredible woman. My grandmother.  She too was not a quitter. She raised 4 children on her own and also taught them not to be quiters. One of her amazing daughters happens to be my mother..who also taught me when things get tough…you do not give up. So when I feel as if everything I’ve been taught isn’t being practiced by the person who preached it, I find it difficult to understand. However..this is when I realize my prayer life has matured a bit. That my faith has given me more confidence then ever before. I now no longer pray a selfish prayer anymore….I know Christ will always prevail no matter how hard it gets…whether it’s my job, my love life…my family…my future husband…all of these things are things that I already know Christ is in control of. Fortunately…I will never be able to give up on those I love even if they feel like they have nothing left to fight for. I remember my moments when I just hoped I wouldn’t wake up the next day..to spare my family any more stress…I remember not wanting to go on because things were so hard in college…I figured..if I’m not here…then it will be better. But thanks to the incredible God I serve…he gave me a new life…renewal of my mind
..and He gave me parents whom believed in giving it all you got. So here I am at 30…where now all the advice from my parents I’ve actually had to reverse  back to them. What an incredible woman they have helped to create. It’s their fault my heart won’t allow people to give up. Even in my career..I motivate students everyday to keep pushing no matter what. So why can’t I give up on the people who gave me life? It’s because they raised me not to throw in the towel. This may ruffle some feathers…but when you care so deeply for your loved ones you have to let them know..there is light at the end of the tunnel. This is one of the low moments in life that you don’t just quit. You don’t just say I’ve done all I can do and leave. If that was the case I would have dropped out of college freshmen year…if that was the case I would have successfully attempted suicide due to self image issues and weight gain…if that was the case I would have quit my job last year after suffering the lost of my grandmother,a break up..and my sister moving back to DC. You ask me…why didn’t you give up? It’s because I believe in Jesus Christ…He told me to have  faith…that through Him I will have strength…even in darkness…He is my Light…He didn’t create my life for me to just live for me…He created me for His Glory and nothing more. This life ain’t about me being happy…me attaining fame and fortune…me attaining the man of my dreams..this life is about following Him and His purpose..and because of that…I will Not…Can Not…Give up. He didn’t give up on me…He never left me and never will no matter how many times I’ve done Him wrong. AND for that…I REFUSE to Quit. So I encourage you…whoever is reading this…wipe your tears….it’s ok…Know that He’s not given you the DNA to be a quitter either. HE’S expecting you Trust in Him to get through your low moments…He knows your hurt…but Expects you to know you can push on only if you let go of what’s hurting you..and see that there is more to this life then your personal happiness. Ask yourself this…why quit when things get rough? Will it make you weaker or stronger if you continue to fight…what is worth fighting for?? Just remember He never gave up on you because he Paid the ultimate sacrafice…His life Ended so that you could live…So……why give up now? #NeverGiveUp #DigDeep #LiveFree


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One thought on “Why I refuse to Give up…

  1. Good post!!.. very true..gotta find that itty bitty ting in the heart. That’s god working through you. He say’s keep it moving child.


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