So I came across a Meme on social media the other day about those of us 30 and up in the dating scene that went a little something like this. “So we dating or nah…cause I don’t have time for this ish”. It made me chuckle a bit because I totally have had that thought cross my mind. I’ve been soul searching recently…reading incredible books…reading scriptures and anything for replinishment for self. All of those tools have been helpful to get me to this amazing “single”status I’m in. There are those of you out there who are actively dating….and that’s Fantastic…you either have the time to continuously get dolled up/groomed…your going/being taken to dinner…having the same conversation..where you from…what’s your goals…blah blah blah. Please excuse my sarcasam…my apologies for not being super thrilled about the dating scene…but I feel like it’s becoming to be more of a part time job…without any pay. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been so removed from dating for so long…or if it’s just the fact I meet so many awesome applicants who are not ready for the “job opportunity”. Trust me…I’m still learning a lot about myself..But I’d be lying if I said that each time I go to bed at night im completely satisfied knowing no one is beside me. Of course it would be great having the love of my life right next to me…but it is what it is…non existent. I chatted with some co-workers throughout last week and it’s often brought up…Krystal…where is your boo…I figured you’d be taken by now…I’ve been consistently told from my closest friends.. (men/women) that I am an amazing person…I have so much I bring to the table. Trust me…it’s awesome to hear these things…flattering even..but after a while…you start looking at yourself…and start raising the question…well if I’m so amazing…if I have such great “Dateable ” features….then why hasn’t it happened to me? It’s crazy though how lately I truly have been just riding the waves. I figure whatever comes next I see how it goes…however I remember a couple weeks ago i pretty much declared to some friends of mine How over it I am. I feel it’s beyond my control now. This dating scene is not meant for me to take control of. I’m such a control freak. ..yet I can’t stand the fact that I truly have no control over this “exciting” love life of mine. I’ve been single since I was….hmmm….let me see…since always…and unfortunately I’m to the point now where I’m totally washing my hands of it. Ive done the whole “take a chance” thing before. Ive tried the whole..”tell em how you feel” deal…still no success. And No…I wasnt the girl that had the dudes lined around the corner. Nope.. I wasn’t the chick that put out everytime she met a boy dressed as a man. And sorry to ruin the fairytale…but no I wasn’t the girl who always had a knight and shinning armor on her side every six months or so. Sorry to burst your bubble but I never had it like that. However what I did have was meaningful friendships from all walks of life. I found I had people in my life who truly care about me. And That’s awesome in itself. Ive come to some very true realities lately and i guess it comes from being ok with self. So what if I don’t get to write my vowels one day…or sing to the man I love on our wedding day. Even if love never comes to knock on my front door..at least I would have known what it means to love me. At least I would have fulfilled my dreams and purpose here on earth. I’m finally seeing my love life ain’t a fairytale…never was and never will be. At this point in my life..if love ever tries to enter my heart again…maybe I’ll be willing to try it again….but until then…..living life to the fullest is currently where my heart is most content. I encourage all of you people out there who are considered “the great catch while single” status…know that this is your time for you…embrace it..enjoy it…don’t miss out on life all because that special person is missing…be fulfilled
With you ….find your purpose…and perhaps…love will find its way to you if it’s meant to happen.
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